Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
