If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
