Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
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