As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
