Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
