I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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