everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout