Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
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you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
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Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil