I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
