I can't watch pbs sober anymore
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize