butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
