Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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