He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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