Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
