Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
