yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I have feelings that need drinking.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
