My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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