Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
