If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
