Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
