Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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