i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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