I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
