No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
