Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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