oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
