return my video game
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize