I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
