ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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