Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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