Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
