i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
