she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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