I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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