It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
