Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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