Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you win again, gameday.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
