I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
