im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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