just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
