Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the day after is always just damage control
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
