Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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