Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
