dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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