Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
