i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
