in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
