what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
