Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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