people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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