And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize