He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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