I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
