Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
