i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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