he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
