You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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