then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
