R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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