May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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