Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
