i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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